Perspectives from Paraguay: Where is my area?

Where the heck is my area?

District Conference Coronel Oviedo

So, we had the district conference in Oviedo, (yea the photographer was really cool guy and cousin of Elder A) and so basically this week was super short and so will next week. Paso Yobai is a headache and we are working hard, but right when we feel like we have the plan all set and investigators are progressing, something in the mission gets in the way. This last week we were in Villarica for p-day and in Martes for the district reunion. Then I had divisions in Villarica with my BOY Elder M, a really great guy, but the next day we missed the bus to Villarica and took a late one and ended up getting there late and then had to do weekly planning that night because the zone leaders were going to do divisions on Thursday, BUT they pulled out and it never happened. We were able to work well Thursday and Friday in our area, but then had to leave for Coronel Oviedo all of Saturday and Sunday for the district conference. THEN this Tuesday, we have our yearly temple trip (sweet) but that means we have today in Oviedo, tomorrow in Asuncion, Wednesday in Villarica (reunion de distrito) AND POSSIBLY Thursday in Oviedo because they are moving houses and asking us to help. This will mean 6 days away from our area.

Not going to lie, I got kind of depressed this week from the divisions I did. I have just been so submerged in Paso Yobai that I thought all the areas were like that, BUT THAT'S SO FAR OFF. In Villarica and Coronel Oviedo, people were intelligent, could understand AND comprehend what I was saying and what message was getting across. People weren't drunk at all times of the day, and I teared up when members thanked us so, so much for blessing them and coming into their home and sharing with them, and how much they appreciated us. I felt accepted in their homes and appreciated because they actually understood what we were trying to bring to them.

That was something I haven't seen in my whole time here.

And in fact, it actually made me really sad. It made me realize how hard Paso Yobai really is. It made me sad to look at my mission and feel like a worthless missionary. Someone who's running around and doing a whole lot of something, but not anything that's actually making a difference. I've been doing a lot of questioning myself, and trying to understand what kind of missionary I am, and what on EARTH I have to do differently.

I took these doubts and heartache to prayer, with confusion in my mind and heart I asked God why I was where I am, and what on earth I need to do. And in my mind, I actually heard a voice.

I know that God is aware of me, and He is aware of Paso Yobai. He knows them, and He loves the people that live there. He knows how hard it is for the area, for the people, and the missionaries. And that is why he sent me there. I have no doubts that is where He wants me right now. He chastized me a bit for comparing my success and area to others, and then assured me it has all been a preparation to prepare me to actually make the difference, through trial, through patience, and through faith in someone a whole lot better, stronger, and smarter than me.

Learning how to be nothing more than an instrument.